There  are a few stories that could  fall into this category, but this is one of my favorites and i have told it often.  So much so that my older daughter reminded me of it this weekend.

My Mother did not use curse words.  She was not angel, but in all my years, I only heard my mother say a curse word one time.   In fact, in her car she carried a small wooden carving of a hand with its middle finger flying solo out of its fist.  Yes, a wooden carving of a hand giving “the bird”.  When people would make her angry (aka-cut her off), she would grab that wooden hand and hold it up for all to see.  But there was this one time the hand just wasn’t going to do the trick……..

My mom worked at the Deerfield Animal Hospital on Waukegan Road in Deerfield, Il.  To get there from our house, it was a left out of the neighborhood, drive down Deerfield Road to Waukegan, take a left in town at the light and go about 2 miles down, past the Sara Lee plant to her work.  Pretty simple.  The speed limit was 35 on Deerfield Road and there was a school zone along the way.

One day on her short drive to work, some “lunatic” as she called him, was following her too close to her bumper in an obvious attempt to get her to move over so he could go by.  My mom checked her speed, she is going the speed limit, so she stuck to her lane, didn’t speed up and followed all the rules of the road.  But, this guy just wouldn’t give up.  He resorted to honking and finally he got an opening to the right and shot around her.  Once in front of her car he slowed down to a crawl; to make a point, we assume.

Unfortunately for him, they came to a red light at Deerfield and Waukegan roads.  While sitting in the turn lane, my mother put her car in park, got out and walked up to the offending vehicle and tapped on the window.  I can only imagine (and do every so often with a giggle) the look on this guys face when looks up to see this middle aged woman in her white uniform standing outside his car signaling him to roll down his window.   After some hesitation, he finally cracks the car window to see what she wants.  This is when my mother proceeds to read him the riot act.   “Do you KNOW what the speed limit is on this road?”  “Are you going to a fire that you have to ride my bumper like that?” “What if I had to suddenly slam on my breaks, I could have been hurt!”  “Not only that, but your erratic driving could have killed someone!”  By the end of her rant, the man was looking at his shoes and apologizing for his behavior, promising never to do it again.

Standing tall and proud of herself, my mother walked back to her car, got in and proceeded to finish her drive to work.  As they both turned onto Waukegan road, a police officer followed them.  He got behind the vehicle that was harassing my mom, turned on his flashers and pulled the guy over.   My mom looked in the rear view mirror, smiled and whistled a happy tune all the way to work.  🙂

I can still hear her voice when she told me the story that night.  My response was “You did WHAT?”  “What if the guy tried to run you over, what if he had a gun, over or jumped out of his car?”.  I guess (back then at least) that her response was so unexpected he reverted back to a 5 year old being scolded by his mother.  I can sure tell you,  if it happened to me even back then,  I sure as heck wouldn’t roll down my window – even for a middle aged lady in a white uniform.

Mom….you crack me up!